Waiting for a bus
to get to school
I make a fuss
And look like a fool
Late for the lessons
I crept into the classroom like a thief
But caught like a rat
Hoping forgiveness
Lessons were boring
I were sleeping
Heard friends laughing
Knew what was happening
Recess came
The students ran
Rushing for the line
To get a meal
Some did not eat
But play in the classroom
Chasing everywhere
And have a "Bang"
Crying sound was heard
And crowd was there
Search for the "Bads"
But could not find anywhere
Couples were everywhere
Holding hands
Friends laughed and teased
But the same goes to him
The bravest student was him
But when exam comes
The most afraid was him
Especially getting results
There's a curse on me
I never get one
But always get two
In exam
School ends
buses and cars waiting
Friends says goodbye
Hands wave in the air
The last day of school for me had arrived
Friends hug and cry
They have to leave
But memories stay forever
Looking back the annul yearbook
Memories flashing by with laughters and cries
I closed my eyes
And smile......
Mokkymok, your poem is, from what I read, a very interesting and not boring poem, and rather a meaningful one, compared to those that I have read. Although the use of words are very simple and easily comprehensive, it still displays the feeling you want to express, which is quite excellent. Do make more poems if you are free.
ReplyDeleteGood poem but simple and easy. Nice for people to read but I read not very smoothly. Care for the rhymes and also the literary devices. Do put in rhymes and use more literary devices as to make it more interesting. It was quite meaningful, but the imagery of the poem is quite blur. I can't get the order of the poem. Keep up the good "word" though!
ReplyDeleteNice poem! I like it because it gives a detailed description regarding of the life of primary school. We were in the same class and we are in the same class, so coincident! It is a long poem, and I hope you could add rhyming pattern to it to make it sound better. metaphors and similes could be added as well so that the whole poem would be better. your results were very good during primary school although you did not get the first. And I also often saw couple being together in primary school. haha. I was also sad on the last day of school that tears of misery involuntarily flowed from my eyes. I embraced my friends and creid freely on the last day of school. I think you cried too? did you?
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